French Kissing

I'm neutral towards it, but the person you're doing it with should at least have a clean mouth, brush their teeth on a regular basis and enjoy a notable lack of halitosis or bad breath.

This girl who wasn't quite the looker at all (actually, as shallow as this sounds, she looks like someone beat her face with a branch ripped off the ugliest tree this side of the Tasman - and she was well-known for sleeping around with heaps of guys, too! While drunk! I know!) woke up one morning and decided that it'd be a good idea to try and make me one of her victims, and in the impossibly long time it took for her to grasp the idea that she was physically unattractive in nearly every way to me as well as comparable to a cyan-coloured and rather promiscuous cement mixer in terms of personality, she would try oh so many times to send me a look that can only be described as sultry in the same manner an elephant seal can be described as sexy. Yes, there she'd stand, staring through her unnaturally thick glasses with her permanently crossed eyes, licking her lips and occasionally baring her teeth including her one brown tooth that sticks out like a man wearing a one-piece at a nude beach while nonchalantly wiggling a certain end of her body at/on me in a vain attempt to entice me into playing her favourite game of Hide & Seek: Under The Covers.

I would not ever dare put my lips to hers, let alone have her tongue touch mine. She was quite saddened by this immediate revelation the first time but this did not put her off her incessant attempts to get me to reconsider my decision by way of leaning close to my face and feebly puckering her lips. Oh no.

From all of this, I can safely tell you there are two basic prerequisites for so-called "french kissing":

1.
Make sure it's someone you love. Not someone you merely like, have a crush on or think is cute. Make sure you only ever make out with your partner. Your partner with whom you have a very strong relationship.

2.
Both you and your partner should have a good, clean mouth. Brush your teeth regularly and take mints if you're still unsure about the state of affairs in there.

That being said, if you feel you should wait until after the wedding to start making out in this manner, then by all means, go ahead. Nothing wrong with that.

To be perfectly honest, however, there are a few circumstances in which I would completely flat-out discourage french kissing:

If you or your partner have performed certain sex acts including the mouth and a sex organ. Or worse, the ass.

If you french kiss in the midst of performing these actions, knowing full well where your tongues have just been, then you are a malignant tosspot with a fetish for the disgusting.

Seriously.